Hey, I Wonder What They're Up To Now? (Part 1)

I would like to start a segment in my blog that takes a look at the athletes and celebrities of our past to see what they're up to now. It is so often the case that our favorite athletes slip into obscurity once they retire, or we'll love an actors performance in a movie only to never see them again. It got me thinking "Hey, I wonder what they are up to now?" and believe me I was shocked at what I found for some of these people and the new careers they have crossed over to. For instance:

After retiring as baseball's iron man leader with 2,632 consecutive games played and amassing over 3000 career hits, Cal Ripken Jr. began a career as a security guard where he even landed a job on The Jerry Springer Show breaking up fights. He was so successful and such a fan favorite that studio executives rewarded him with his very own TV talk show. You can now catch Ripken Jr. going by the stage name of Steve Wilkos and giving marital and domestic advice to to the lovely functional citizens of the U.SofA





Do you remember the kid from the hit film Dazed and Confused? The kid with the long hair who gets paddled after pitching in his baseball game and ends up hanging out with all the older dudes for the rest of the movie. Yeah, well that kid became a pitcher in real life, and a damn good one at that too. After a failed acting career, he decided to drop his uber cool stage name of Wiley Wiggins and go back to his boring birth name Tim Lincecum. You can now catch Wiley Wiggins or Tim Lincecum, whichever you prefer, pitching for the San Francisco Giants, where he is one of the best pitchers in baseball.

Remember the guy who played Hank, Jim Carrey's alternate personality in the movie 'Me, Myself, and Irene'? His name was Rich Franklin, and he is now a UFC fighter.
Things never really took off for Rich Franklin after his performance in the movie. He was casted because they wanted a look-alike to play a more tough and aggressive version of Jim Carrey. He never really was able to land another major role in a movie, so after a short stint as Jim Carrey's stunt double, he moved to Mixed Martial Arts where he was able to become the UFC Middleweight chapion of the world at one point before losing the title to current champ Anderson Silva.

One of the more bizarre celebrity/athlete crossovers is techno dancer turned UFC fighter Keith Jardine. Once labeled as the Technoviking, this maniac was discovered dancing through the streets of Berlin, Germany during a rave party called Fuckparade 2000. During the video you can see Technoviking (Keith Jardine) almost apply his current skills on a few obnoxious fellow party goers, who seem to cross Technoviking's line of rave parade ethics.
Keith Jardine's amateur dance video can be seen here:


Well that sums it up for the first part of "Hey, I Wonder What They Are Up To Now?" I hope you enjoyed it and please subscribe to my blog. Also feel free to leave a comment, i would love to hear your feedback. Be sure to stay tuned for "Hey, I Wonder What They Are Up To?" part 2. Happy Easter!

The Rundown

It's been a while since I've updated this blog. It's been pretty boring on the Toronto sports scene the past year, and miserable enough to make even that dude from Dawson's Creek cry. That is unless you're my buddy Maxamillian Droege (you can catch Max after every Leaf game dissecting the Leafs with Andy Frost on AM 640, if he isn't dropping F-bombs), who can somehow find pleasure in a Leaf team in 2nd last place. I admire his commitment though, and I can wholeheartedly say that is one of the truest Leaf fans I know. Now somebody wash the blue paint out of his eyes from last night's Leaf game so he can read this. The Blue Jays, god bless their souls, have now re-entered the rebuilding stage, and are entering the season with the idea of Jose Bautista leading off for them. The Raptors are on the verge of losing another big star, as Chris Bosh is counting the days before he bolts back to the States. Well at least we'll have Jay Triano around to fluff the next big star that arrives. The Argos are...who gives a shit about the Argos? All the while our beloved soccer team TFC is still trying to figure out this playoff thing. If that ever happens, somebody be sure to never let me know, because I would be more interested in watching the 5 million dollar grass grow at BMO field than watching a soccer game that isn't the World Cup.

With all of this turmoil comes topics and things to get off my chest.

So basically, I'd like to rundown a little catch up session to get this blog back up and running. A little smorgasbord of sports (say that 10 times real fast). Where better to start than with Toronto's beloved Maple Leafs.

- Isn't it funny how Leaf fans have stressed all year about the thought of the Leafs finishing last, which would equal the Boston Bruins getting their hands on 1st overall draft pick Taylor Hall. Fast forward to present day, and the Leafs have built a comfortable lead on the Edmonton Oilers, leaving us in second last, which should only land the Bruins a 2nd overall draft pick, which will end up being...Taylor Hall! That's right, there is no way Tyler Seguin doesn't go 1st overall in this year's entry draft. He has definitely emerged as the better player, and now with recent admission that Taylor Hall isn't a great 2 way player, you can bet on the Oilers taking Seguin.



- I'd also like to take one last shot at Brian Burke before I start drinking his Kool-Aid and predicting a Tyler Bozak scoring title and a Stanley Cup within the next 3 years. A lot of people have criticized his trade of two 1st round picks and a 2nd rounder for Phil Kessel. I can't complain about the trade, seeing as how Phil Kessel is the most skilled player the Leafs have had since...shit, he's the most skilled player the Leafs have ever had, and yes that includes Mats Sundin, Doug Gilmour, Dave Keon, Tim Horton, sorry Wendel Clark faithful, and even Jeff Farkas, and Brandon Convery. And that is not exactly a huge compliment to Kessel. What I can complain about, is Brian Burke's mentality that the team we had was a top 15 or 20 team in the NHL when he completed that deal. Burkey is a smart man, and as much as he tries to convince you, there is no way he makes that deal if he knows his team is finishing in the bottom 3 of the league. If Kessel was worth a Hall or a Seguin, the Bruins would have never let him go, and Burke knows that. My criticism is directed towards Burke's mentality during the trade. The fact that he thought Komisarek, Beauchemin, Wallin, Finger, Grabovski etc... were a good enough team to land us in the playoffs is way out of his character. For example, if the Red Wings, Flames, Capitals, Pens, Habs, Sharks, Blackhawks make that trade, it's a great trade. Because basically, you're giving up a 23rd and 27th overall pick for Phil Kessel. But when you're a potential lottery based team and you make that trade...ouch. So my problem isn't the trade itself, it's Burke's idea that we would make the playoffs and not be giving up a lottery pick.

- Now, as I sip some of this delicious red Kool-Aid, I would like to change my tune and actually compliment Burke for some of the moves he's made recently. Let's start with the Dion Phaneuf trade. As that obnoxious girl from the TV show Friends who always dates Chandler would say, Oh...My...God! Did that just happen? Did we just trade a decent centre, an OK 30-something year old winger, Ian White (no knock there, he was awesome), and a 5 minute per night player; for Dion Phaneuf da-daaaaaa-da-da-da? No way. This is the type of trade where you can only get away with in video games. Like when you start a season in NHL 2010, and think how do I get a 90 rated player? Well let's see if this works? I'll add in this guy who's rated 81, this guy who's rated 79, wow they rated this guy 82, we'll add him. Sent the trade...rejected! Shit! back to the drawing board, I'll put those same 3 players in, only this time I'll add in this amazingly rated 77 player and VOILA! I have Dion Phaneuf da-da-da-daa on the Toronto Maple Leafs in my NHL 2010 season. Not to mention, we also got a PK specialist, yeah I know big deal, but we also got a 6 foot 6 defensive prospect who is only 20 years old and won a Gold Medal with Canada's junior team. If Darryl Sutter isn't fired within the next 2 years because of this trade, than I will apply for a GM job in the NHL.



- As for the Giguere trade. All I had to see on the ticker was Leafs trade Vesa Toskala and Jason Blake for...and it was already a great trade. I would have traded those two for Fulton Reed and Adam Banks from the REAL Mighty Ducks. What I really like about this trade is how Jonas Gustavsson has played since Giggy arrived. In the 6 games he has played since he's 5-1 with a 2.40 GAA, and a .910 Save %. Maybe it's the competition of a goalie breathing down his neck for playing time, or just some helpful advice from his new locker neighbour, whatever it is it has definitely turned around The Monster's play.

- Now that's enough of the Leafs for now. On to my 2nd favorite mediocre team in Toronto, the Blue Jays. Thank you for finally freeing the team of J.P. Retardo. I would like to apologize to anybody that I may or may not have offended with that comment. I had no intentions of indirectly implying that J.P. Ricciardi could be as smart as a reh-tard.

- A special shout out to the Jays for keeping my man Randy Ruiz in the line up. He will do big things this year. This guy can hit the ball, trust me on this one. Biggest surprises this year will be Ruiz, Travis Snider, and Vernon Wells. Yes, I did just say everybody's favorite Blue Jay Vernon Wells, and the only reason why I name him is because with they way he played last season, there is no place to go but up!

- Can Brian Colangelo please forget about his Italian patriotism for 2 seconds and fire Jay Triano so the Raptors can play for a real coach? Seriously, the Raptors can lose by 30 points, and Triano will greet them in the locker room with a box of baked homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. One time a man kicked Jay Triano in the ass, and all Triano did was turn around and ask if the man's foot was ok. Sure, I hate to rag on a guy for being a great guy, but this is sports, and sports are unforgiving. I don't want Johnny Nice Guy coaching a Toronto team. I want a Bobby Knight type of asshole who storms in the locker room after a loss throwing chairs, beating up old ladies, and stealing from children. And while we're at it, can we please get rid of Mr. overrated, Jose Calderon? The only reason why he is loved in Toronto is because this is a hockey city, and he somehow translates into a tough basketball player. Maybe it's because he has longish hair and when he sweats, his hair gets drenched like a hockey player, making him look like somewhat of a Darcy Tucker like warrior. That's my only guess. Jarret jack has been a breath of fresh air at the point guard position this year.

- As for the Toronto Argos and TFC, all I have to say about those two Toronto teams are...

And thank you that is all the time we have left for today! Thank you for reading this installment of my blog. I hope you enjoyed it, and please leave some feedback of what you thought. Also good luck to Georges St. Pierre this weekend as he prepares to defend his welterweight title against England's Dan Hardy!

I Pledge My Allegiance to the Vancouver Canucks

Being a Toronto Maple Leaf fan has been pretty uneventful for the last 4 years. We haven't made the playoffs since the NHL lockout in 2005. We've also lost many of the core players that were the last links we had to the playoffs. Although some of these players have simply diminished in terms of performance like Darcy Tucker, others I think we were just too spoiled with - see Brian McCabe. I think Florida is pretty happy we booed him out of town. The icing on the cake: the day we lost our captain Mats Sundin for absolutely NOTHING (!!!) Not to mention trading away the goalie of our future in Tuuka Rask. I'm still wondering if Boston is going to return a personal favour too John Ferguson Jr. for that gaffe. Our only blue chip prospect Jiri Tlusty looks like he belongs in the AHL since that's the only platform upon which he can succeed. Literally, the only optimism we have right now is that we have a great coach and when was the last time you can recall a team's coach being their most valuable player?

To sum it up - things have gotten pretty boring in Leaf land. I haven't been excited for the NHL playoffs in years, and never mind the fact that we haven't actually won the Cup since 1967. The other day I was scrolling the Internet and I came across a link to a website for Toronto Maple Leaf playoff tickets!!! That's got to be a joke right? It must be a scam. Or are they expecting a 5 year fixed payment plan? Immediately I thought of the famous Jim Mora rant. PLAYOFFS?For those of you scratching your head on Jim Mora, watch the video and it'll sum up my reactions to the Toronto Maple Leaf playoff tickets link.

So here's what I did - and remember by no means am I permanently jumping Maple leaf ship - I am simply following my money and it lead me to the Vancouver Canucks. In December when the Vancouver Canucks were going through a few stumbling blocks - Roberto Luongo was injured, no Mats Sundin, and average production from the Sedin's; I was looking for a good valued team to bet on to win the Stanley Cup when i came across an interesting statistic - the Canucks were a top 5 team WITH Luongo in the net, yet were struggling to make the playoffs without him. Seeing as how his injury wasn't for the entire season, and he was only weeks away from returning, I made a couple of $50 bets on the Canucks to win the Stanley Cup, with a payout being near $3000. I figured when Luongo returned they would form back to the team that started the season as a Stanley Cup contender. I didn't expect them to sign Mats Sundin weeks after I made the bet!

So no, I haven't jumped Maple Leaf ship forever but for the moment I have jumped right into the driver seat for the Vancouver Canuck Stanley Cup bandwagon and I will be picking up passengers at all stops along the way. When I now refer to my team as "we", know that I am referring to the beloved Canucks. I also must admit to having sentimental reasons to cheer for them as I have followed Mats Sundins career for quite some time now and he is one of my top players. The Canucks also have some amazing fans. I must admit, back when they were making playoff runs via the Bertuzzi/Naslund circa, and the Leafs were making our own playoff runs, I used to watch Vancouver games in envy as their team would come out to the ever amazing intro of 'The Streets Have No Name' by U2, and every fan in the building would wave a white towel in the air to tribute their franchise. (fast forward to 1:32 of the video to see what I'm talking about)

Some would call them gimmicks to connect fan energy to the game - but they work which is something Toronto Maple Leaf fans would know nothing about as it would be way too difficult to type on your blackberry while waving a towel and not to mention the noise of a hit tune would be to distracting while trying to entertain business clients.

So here's to one Leaf fan pledging his allegiance to the Vancouver Canucks for the 2009 NHL playoffs. I will be watching their games and cheering as if it were the Maple Leafs playing like I did last night when the Canucks won game 1 over the Blues 2-1! I had the Tiger Woods fist pump accompanied by a roaring YEAHHHHHHH going for every Vancouver goal. So don't be shy Toronto and support a fellow Canadian city that shares a Stanley Cup passion with Toronto, and be happy that Ottawa didn't make the playoffs either, and god knows we can't cheer for Montreal...

Mayday! Mayday! Leafs Inch Closer to Lord Stanley by Signing Brad May

As you can see from my previous entry I was not too enthusiastic about the hiring of Brian Burke as GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs. I would have preferred to see the job go to someone fresh. Not somebody new - ala John Ferguson Jr. - but somebody who had been around the game his entire life, had played the game, and was known as an intelligent hockey mind. If the decision had been mine to make, that somebody would have been Steve Yzerman or Joe Nieuwendyk. Instead, the Leafs made an Owen Nolan-like move and hired an old, washed up, and aging Brain Burke. Once again, the Leafs passed up on young fresh talent for somebody that was over the hill and whose best years were behind them. In Burke they are bringing in someone who cares more about his own reputation than he does about the team he is structuring. Brian Burke is the only reason why Brad May has been employable for the last 4 years. Burke would rather follow his own personal agenda than make a move that would benefit the entire team or organization.

On this day being a leaf fan is a sad thing indeed. Today is the day where many come to realize that Brian Burke is not the knight in shining armour many hoped he would be. He is not riding in on his white horse carrying a "How To Win The Stanley Cup for Dummies" manual. What he is doing is bringing to our team the same bad habits and poor decision making ability that has plagued him his entire career.

In my previous blog, I brought up the case of Bobby Ryan, a young prospect who was being buried in the minors in Anaheim by Brian Burke due to poor money management. Since Burke left Anaheim, Bobby Ryan has been called up. Not only has he been called up, but he has performed at a point per game pace. He has 22 points, 8 goals is 23 games. Anaheim was off to an awful start under Burke and have clearly turned their season around since letting Big Brain go. If I remember correctly, calling up Ryan was one of the first moves the new GM made after Burke left. And this is the guy Toronto made the highest paid GM in the entire league?

Today, I am embarrassed to be a Leaf fan. And it is not just because we made a bad trade, I have experienced many of those in my time as a Leaf fan - Steve Sullivan, Jason Smith, Tuka Raask et al. I am embarrassed by fact that I predicted 1 month ago that the Leafs would bring in Brad May. Of course I said it in jest simply to highlight the fact that Burke has carried May around like a suit case, but today that joke has become a reality and that reality has me and many fans like me red faced.

With Brian Burke comes Pat Quinn all over again for Toronto Maple Leaf fans

Brian Burke is on the horizon, and the Leafs chances of winning a Stanley Cup have just been pushed even further back. Brian Burke is an overrated GM. He failed in Vancouver for 5 years, and aside from winning one cup with Anaheim, has done a pretty terrible job managing the cap since. Seriously, Bobby Ryan in the minors? I don't want a guy that won't hesitate to send down a blue chip prospect (drafted 2nd behind Crosby) to the minors, just to stay under the cap. Detroit wins the Cup, and still manages to sign Marian Hossa the next year. That is successful management. Brian Burke has been blown out of proportion by the always faithful Leaf fans. Since his name has been tossed around in rumors for the new Leaf GM job, radio call in junkies have mentioned him with some of the best GM's in the world, past and present.

If you sit down and actually break down his career, he has been somewhat of a Pat Quinn. Employing wash outs like Jyrki Lumme, Robert Reichel, Aki Berg etc... (who would not crack another NHL line up) while giving the boot to players like Andy McDonald, Steve Sullivan, and Jason Smith. That just doesn't make sense to your average Leaf fan. But it made sense to Pat Quinn, and it makes sense to Brian Burke. It just shows that their eye for talent is out of touch with reality. How could a die-hard Leaf fan, who only watches games from his couch at home know that Jyrki Lumme and Robert Reichel were unemployable outside of Toronto? How could a hardcore hockey fan know that Anaheim dishing off Andy McDonald instead of 2 million dollar players like Todd Marchant and Rob Niedermayer would be a bad idea? How do we see it, and they don't? It's called bad sports management, and it has plagued both gentlemen their entire respective careers. They haven't been terrible, they just haven't been great.

The latest Brian Burke blunder has him sending down NHL ready prospect Bobby Ryan, the player whom he chose 2nd overall behind Sydney Crosby in the 2005 NHL entry draft. That was over 3 years ago. Now if Bobby Ryan and his outstanding AHL stats aren't good enough for the NHL after all these years, than that is a horrible draft pick by Burke and the Ducks. However, that is not the case, Bobby Ryan some say was NHL ready last year, a season in which he was called up and sent down, and produced 10 points in 23 games, while putting up 49 points in 48 games in the AHL. He endured the rigors of going back and forth from Iowa to Anaheim for 1 season in hopes that he would have a regular spot saved for him the next year. Wrong, his spot was either given to Ryan Carter, or Brian Burkes forever loyalty to aging hasbeens such as Rob Niedermayer, Sami Pahlsson, Todd Marchant, or even better yet Brad May left Bobby Ryan no room. The issue here is Ryan's contract. With bonuses that Burke is convinced he'll achieve, he would be set to make $300,000 more than his original contract of just over a million dollars. So because of $300,000 a contract Burke negotiated, the best young prospect in Anaheim gets another year in the minors, where he currently has 16 points in 13 games. So what would be the point of bringing in Brian Burke only to have him draft us a player in the top 10 this year, and railroad him to the minors for the next 3 seasons due to poor money management, and throwing away money to guys like Brad May?

Brace ourselves Leaf fans, for we have to endure another 4/5 years of smokes and mirrors. MLSE one of the greatest illusionists out there have conducted another masterful plan. Or we can look at the upside and hope for another 4 years of Pat Quinn.